rubyfruitjumble:

Psychic: reads my mind
My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn…. We have bananis…… And avocadi

Anonymous asked: I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR BLOG FOR YEARS AND I JUST REALIZED. BY "JEWLR" ARE YOU REFERRING TO A TUMBLR RUN BY FOLLOWERS OF JUDAISM OR APPELTS DIAMONDS????

We saw it somewhere and stole it lol. Like the jewellery store

reallylameblog:

what if garbage was spelled like garbij

yehudmood:

relatable memes are out, hyper-specific niche memes are in i dont want to understand shit!

vastcool:

We are all God’s children and he left us in a hot car.

princess-of-lore:

mycheekyfinn:

official-nasa:

monilip:

dont-stop-runninggg:

knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit

wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad 

That was deep

philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie

That was deeper.

common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty

jediteaparty:

arauj0:

aangnog:

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

voguemorge:

when you stand up too fast and suddenly, you’re floating through space and time

mute-frisk:

squirrelstone:

gideonseymours:

miscommunication as a plot device makes me angry

if you just talked to each other but no

on the one hand i agree with this but on the other hand one of my coworkers rented an alpaca from a petting zoo and brought it to work because my boss said she wanted an alpaca sweater but the guy didn’t hear her say sweater and didn’t want to upset her by asking why the fuck she’d want an alpaca

Imagine ur otp